I am writing this because I know what it feels like to think your story is already finished before you even get a real chance to live it. I also know what it feels like to wake up one day and realize you still have a say in how the next chapter goes. My life started in a rough place. It did not stay there. That change did not happen by magic. It happened because I finally found purpose, and purpose can rewrite a life.
Growing Up in Flatbush
I grew up in Flatbush, Brooklyn. My father passed away in 1965, so my mother was left raising eight kids on her own. As a single parent, she worked two jobs just to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. She did everything she could, but raising eight children alone can break even the strongest person. In 1970 she suffered a nervous breakdown. She became mentally ill and was hospitalized for long stretches. I was still a kid, and I did not understand what was happening. I just knew the world felt unstable, like the floor could drop out at any moment.
At school I acted out. I caused trouble. I got suspended for destructive behavior. I was angry and confused, and I did not know where to put those feelings. Child welfare authorities stepped in. They split up my brothers and sisters and sent us to different institutions. That is a hard thing to explain if you have not lived it. One day you have your family around you, even if things are messy. The next day you are in a strange place, and the people who know your name and your history are gone.
The Feeling of Being Lost
Being sent off to an institution never felt like safety to me. It felt like being moved around like a piece of luggage. I was already a wild kid, and the system did not calm me down. If anything, it pushed me further off track. But I ended up in a Job Corps training program. I went through times where I felt worthless. I looked at the mess my life had become and I blamed myself. I thought I was a failure who let my family down.
People need to know how dark it can get when you are young and hurt and you do not see a way out. I was heading down a road that I am not sure I would have survived.
The Moment I Chose a Different Life
Some people call it a miracle. I call it waking up. One day I just knew I could not keep going the way I was going. I made a vow to make something of my life. I did not suddenly become perfect. I did not have it all figured out. But that vow gave me direction, and direction is everything when you have been lost.
I started taking education seriously. I earned a certificate in Adult Basic Education. That led to my GED. I went on to complete a Theology certificate course, and I was accepted to North Country Community College in Saranac Lake, New York. Those steps might sound small to some people, but to me they were proof that I was no longer the kid society had written off.
A Working Life Built on Showing Up
I became a Teamster and spent 30 years with Local 817 as a Theatrical Teamster. It was honest work. I learned how to show up, and I learned how to stay steady even when things got tough. Over the years, I worked on film and TV shows like Straight Out of Brooklyn, Boomerang, New York Undercover, Men in Black, The Sopranos, One Fine Day, Conspiracy Theory, and Law & Order SVU.
For 24 years I was assigned to the set of Law & Order SVU. That was a long run. I watched actor after actor come through. I watched directors shape scenes over and over until they hit the truth. I watched crews solve a thousand problems a day without anyone outside the set ever noticing. I was there to drive, haul, move, and support. But I was also there to learn. I studied every nuance of filmmaking the way a hungry kid studies a menu.
Turning Learning Into a Legacy
I always had stories inside me. Some of them came from pain. Some came from Brooklyn neighborhoods. Some came from what I saw on the job. After all those years on set, I decided to stop just watching other people tell stories and start telling my own.
That is how Up In Harlem happened. I wrote it. I produced it. I directed it. I starred in it. I asked longtime friends to join me, including rapper and actor Ice-T, the late broadcaster Vaughn Harper, Reggae artist Mad Lion, and singing sensation Milira Jones. We made that film with heart and hustle. It was released in 2004 and distributed across the United States and Canada. Today it still streams on Amazon Prime and other platforms. I am listed on IMDb as a director, actor and writer. But I was also the executive producer; that is something I never would have believed back when I was a kid who thought he had nothing to offer the world.
Giving Back Keeps Me Grounded
Success does not mean you forget where you come from. If anything, it should make you remember more clearly. I do volunteer outreach for homeless and needy people. I know what it means to be at the bottom. I know what it means to feel invisible. Helping others is not charity to me. It is a family business. It is a way of keeping my vow alive.
I believe purpose is not only about chasing dreams. Purpose is also about lifting people when you can. If I made it out, then I owe something to the folks still trying to climb.
What I Want People to Take From My Story
If you grew up in chaos, you are not doomed. If you made mistakes when you were young, you are not finished. If you feel like your life has been decided by someone else, that can change. But it will not change unless you choose it.
Purpose does not erase the past. I still carry mine. But purpose gives the past a place to land. It turns pain into fuel. It turns a broken start into a strong middle. It turns survival into something bigger.
I am proof that a broken kid on fault lines can become a man who builds a creative legacy. I am proof that choosing the right path can happen at any age. I am proof that your story is still yours to write, even if the first pages were rough.
That is how purpose rewrote my life. And if you let it, it can help rewrite yours, too.
I am not approaching this project as a detached filmmaker. I was part of it. I believe that my perspective—both behind the lens and as a New Yorker—offers something distinct.
If you are interested in getting involved with the film and have experience in post-production, film festivals, editing, or documentary directing, or if you are a writer or a college student seeking an internship and looking to learn about any area of the film industry, Or wanted to help at ground zero and never had the opportunity to do so, please contact me at paulee27777@outlook.com.